it is in the hearing

it is in the seeking

it is in the

not getting offended

it is in the rethinking…

but it is also in the belief that I must hear

or else….

it is a feeling in my gut that if I listen and prod long enough I may hear something …

it is a pain deep down that I cannot locate that urges me

with such urgency
perhaps because intuitively there has been some sensing

that something in what these “voices” say back to me will

temporarily ease my pain…

it is not solace – but perhaps a slap

that will remind my body – and help it articulate

to recover momentarily from the pain of understanding it affectively

but not being able to translate

perhaps I am looking for the boundaries of a container

not knowing what shape the container takes

will take

in the effort to say this this and that…

not that not that not that

na ithi na ithi na ithi…