it must have happened around the time I fell asleep last night

i woke up this morning having no rational explanation for my bout of panic in my sleep

but i met L online and she told me

amidst “talk” of goats and cows…

it must have happened around the time I fell asleep last night i thought

but why would his passing soul have touched me as he left this world, i wonder(ed)

why would her grief have touched me unknown to me

as i slept her dupatta lying within arms reach

a piece of her life’s work in connecting to their weaving lives…

i hardly know her my conscious mind tells me

even though i have known her even before I met her for years as A has been telling me of how she nurtured her

[as i know i should have had i been within without distance s]

i knew her through A’s stories the woman who knew how they weaved and dyed – who designed through cultural memories

and contexts

i met her only a couple years ago – but i knew her long long ago – in her desire to re-connect

aesthetically

practically

we knew each other and she was my mentor too

so of course her pain is mine

and he touched me as he left – obligating me to be in her circle of support

leaving her in the care of all those around her

it is strange now to think of their living room and kitchen without him

that when I next visit her to talk about her weavers and her designs as the recipes for natural dyes – he will not be around
to joke and make us coffee

I knew him.

in a moment we all connected – and in a moment he is gone.